Homage to Stevie and Melvin

"When you believe in things that you don't understand, you suffer."

I received an email a few days ago--the third or fourth time I've received it in the past year. It was the transcript of Rick Warren's interview with Jim Dailey of Billy Graham Evangelistic Association's Decision magazine. This time, I printed it because I thought it might stimulate a thought-provoking discussion during my Drama Queen Workshops.

Of particular interest was this part of his interview, in which he addressed his wife's experience with cancer--and prayer:

"We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her."

My first thought was: What impact does a testimonial such as this have on millions who believe in the power of prayer--particularly the power of "two or more gathered in His name?" If a renowned man of faith has declared that God did not respond affirmatively when hundreds of thousands prayed together, what hope do they have when they pray alone?

When I asked this question this weekend at a phenomenal retreat for women, someone passionately responded, "[Rick Warren] doesn't understand the awesome healing power of God!"

I was somewhat prepared for that because last spring, I wrote a post about a Chicago Tribune story featuring a Mexican immigrant who fervently prayed for her safety before leaving for work every day. For added protection, Artemia Torres, a devout Catholic, carried rosary beads and pictures of two saints with her. One day, she was wounded by a potential robber who shot her at close range.

When I asked spirituality authors on a social networking site what this said about the power of prayer, one replied, "Her heart belonged to God but not her walk. Now she's placed in a position to rest, to be still. She can now hear God's plan for her life. In that quiet still place we can hear God clearly."

Fascinating stuff. In both cases, the respondents believed that the person petitioning to God was at fault when things didn't go as they hoped. The assumption, of course, is that if we do certain things, say certain words in a certain way, we can convince God to do our will. That's what prayer is supposed to do.

What if that's not what prayer is all about? What if the purpose of prayer is to receive direction from God rather than give it? My dear friend Melvin, a man I've never seen but whom I've grown to love dearly, can teach us a thing or two about this.

Melvin's journal, posted on the Beliefnet community website, caught my eye in December 2007, just as I was wrapping up the final chapters of Crossing an Unseen Bridge. A native Californian, Melvin and his adoring wife, Gabriele, live in Germany. He decided to remain after being stationed there in the military.

Melvin is an author, father and grandfather who is experiencing a tremendous challenge with the fearlessness and unshakable faith of one who truly understands what God is and what God and prayer does (and doesn't do).

I've read numerous accounts of those who had near death experiences, of children who had stunned their parents by vividly recalling past life experiences--even guiding them to their previous homes and introducing their current parents to previous (read: freaked out) relatives who corroborated their stories. I've read about souls who had out-of-body experiences. But I'd read nothing like Melvin's journal post recounting a memory of a dream he'd had years ago while in the military.

In that dream, Melvin left his body and felt himself traveling into the starry sky (His book is entitled A Trip to the Stars). Through his prose, I shared his surprise when he looked down and saw that he had no legs, feet, hands or body; he was a ball of pure Light! I also shared Melvin's disappointment when another intelligent being of Light insisted that he return to the uniformed body on the beach. Go back? Now? There was so much more he (and I) wanted to learn about life outside of a body!

Decades later, Melvin's body is now slowly shutting down, and he is fearlessly--in fact, joyfully--chronicling his journey back to pure Light. I am honored to be among the close friends with whom he shares his updates. Through his experience, he wants others to understand themselves as souls, not bodies, so I am sure he will not mind me sharing an excerpt from one of his messages:

"I can accept this as God's will or [I can focus on] the biological facts and natural way of we mortals. Whatever, I am happy that my mind is clear and it is not painful. Eventually, if the present course continues, all muscle control will cease; only the automatic muscle activity will remain, such as breathing,
heartbeat and swallowing. Then these will be slowed down. I am happy and enjoying each day in ways for which I have studied and prepared a life long."

I have not read one case of a person who has experienced "life after death," who does not look forward to leaving the body again--for good, eager to return to the living loving Light, ready to BE the Light once again. Melvin is no exception.

What does that tell the rest of us? As I told the young lady at the workshop this weekend, each of us had a plan and a purpose when we squeezed ourselves into these human bodies. We will fulfill our purposes if we don't get distracted by things that focus our attention on our humanness or our bank accounts, instead of our divinity and our karmic accounts. It would be a shame to have a prosperous body and a bankrupt soul that has come here and achieved no spiritual growth.

As souls, not only did we know what we wanted to accomplish when we arrived, we gave ourselves a time limit and an exit strategy. Sometimes our exit strategies provide us a final opportunity to hold fast to our truth or to accomplish a spiritual goal.

What if, as souls, we wanted to learn to say, "Thy will be done"--and mean it? What if we wanted to remember that we are not bodies, and created dis-ease in our bodies to make sure that the lesson was really learned? What if we wanted to remember that there is only one thing in the universe--God--and created the illusion of loneliness and adversity for our classroom?

How can we learn to honor another soul's timetable for leaving a body if no one ever leaves? How can we learn to trust God unless we understand what God is? How can we overcome adversity like Stevie and Melvin?

It's only when we believe in things that we don't understand that we suffer.

The world that lives happily on your face

The humongous photograph in the Museum of Science and Industry stopped me in my tracks long enough to read the caption. I gasped, pivoted and fled the room, completely grossed out. For a split second, I even forgot where I had been headed before the frightening encounter. The gigantic face had to have been 20 feet tall--no exaggeration. A high-powered microscope revealed thousands of bugs scurrying across a man's forehead, eyelids, cheeks and mouth. Ewww!

You know, I hadn't thought about that frightening photo in about 25 years. But yesterday, while thinking about how many invisible life forms live among us, the photo suddenly popped into my head, reminding me that many of those life forms actually live on us. While trying to verify my recollection, I found a BBC news article claiming that human skin is a "virtual zoo" of microscopic life forms.

Do you ever think about the world of organisms that lives happily on your face, in the air you breathe, the food you eat and the bed in which you sleep--or is the Loud Mouth the only one who is oblivious? Sure, we are aware that dust mites, germs and bacteria are rampant in our reality; but because they are invisible to the naked eye, we disregard their presence in our living space and totally ignore the fact that they have a life parallel to our own. In fact, our skin might be their world!

The same is true in the world we visited last week, the world of the tennis ball, fourth largest in a special system of spheres. Tennis is big brother to the marble, golf ball and powerball, kid brother to the hard ball, soft ball, fireball and volleyball. (Recently, the tiniest sphere, the BB, was cast aside after being treated like a member of the family for many, many years. Sad. The good news is that it's still quite a distance from the goof ball, which lives in a world of its own. Even sadder.) Each of the other balls, however, still play a significant role in this unique universe.

As you'll recall, every soul in the tennis-sphere is transient. That's the way the souls designed it. Also by design, something miraculous happens whenever one of them clothes itself in a body: All memory of the soul's reality--its likeness to and oneness with its immortal Creator--is erased. As a practical matter, the memory loss enables each soul to begin the game of "So, You Think This Is Life?" with the same handicap on a level playing field.

Since the object of the game is for the souls' bodies to reflect the divinity of their Creator in their behavior, they must first remember that they are divine and leverage their relationships in the invisible world to get the support they need to overcome anything they might hear on the tennis-sphere. Problem is, they're oblivious; their memories have been wiped clean. They are convinced that they are merely mortal bodies, and they trust only what they can detect with their physical senses. To complicate matters, they also believe that the tennis-sphere not only is their real home, it is the only place in the universe that can sustain life.

This is quite perplexing to anyone observing the tennis-sphere from a distance, because everyone in the tennis-sphere knows that nobody has ever come and stayed forever. They've also observed that everything on the sphere is constantly changing, deteriorating and disappearing--from bodies to buildings--evidence that the sphere is the permanent home of no one and nothing. It probably was never intended to be.

The vast majority of these forgetful souls also believes that the tennis-sphere is eternal and they are not. Consequently, whenever souls withdraw from their bodies and move on, according to the itineraries they established prior to arriving, the others believe that these departed souls are no longer alive, which makes them very unhappy. In truth, only the body the soul was wearing has died; the invisible soul within them, their breath of life, has not ceased to exist.

The tennis-souls' confusion over their identity and reality is best reflected in poems such as this one found on plaques, stones and paper and embroidered on cloth (author unknown):

"If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,

I would walk right up to heaven and bring you home again."

During the next few weeks, we'll look at the inception and perpetuation of this belief, and the effect that it's had on the joy and fulfillment of all souls who visit the tennis-sphere. Throughout this process, I'd like you to give some serious thought to the genesis of your own beliefs and, if you choose, update them. You already have empirical evidence that invalidates some of your beliefs, yet you are unwilling to release them. When you pay attention, you'll discover that your beliefs directly impact your behavior and subsequently reflect in your life experiences.

The fact that you're paying any attention at all to the Loud Mouth indicates that your soul is ready to stretch, even if your body and brain are resisting. But this is not your body's life, its your invisible invincible soul's. Until it's departure date, it will endeavor to accomplish its goal: To master the game of "So, You Think This Is Life?"

Every shift in your thoughts and beliefs will create a shift in your physical experience. Your soul knows that it has all eternity to win this game, and it will win, no matter how long it takes, how difficult you make the lessons or how painful you make your physical experience.

Please don't feel pressured to do anything. You don't have to know yourself right now. You don't have to learn or grow. You can stand still and repeat your current mistakes as many times as you like--or you can create a more enlightened experience.

If you want to free yourself from the quicksand sooner rather than later, put on your thinking cap and return to the beginning--not of the tennis-sphere but of our own planet:

1. How many souls were the first visitors?
2. How did they multiply into billions?
3. How did you reach that conclusion?

Please share your thoughts by clicking "Comments" next to the date at the top of the page instead of emailing, as many seem to prefer. We all know that Together Each Accomplishes More. Together, let's create a more joyful and fulfilling life experience.

A reminder: Today is the last day to register for the dynamic Women's Leadership Conference (March 26-28) at the Hilton/Indian Lakes Resort in Bloomingdale, Illinois. Thursday is spa day! To find out if there are any rooms and workshop seats still available, contact the Rev. Jacqueline Atkins, J.D. at revjatkins[at]ameritech.net.

Your blessing might be wrapped in adversity

I had the most delightful telephone chat yesterday with a dear friend who, after asking what day it was, gleefully declared, “It’s been 14 days!”

She explained: It had been 14 days since she smoked a cigarette. Hallelu!

Jeanne had smoked for 39 of the last 41 years, taking a break during pregnancy and again, following acupuncture treatments targeting her nicotine addiction. A bright woman with an advanced degree from an Ivy League school, Jeanne was always aware that cigarettes were ruining her health, but—

“I wanted to be a smoker,” she conceded. “I enjoyed it!”

Jeanne also had a hefty incentive to smoke: The last time she stopped she mushroomed from 110 pounds to 170. Hands down, cigarettes seemed a cuter alternative—until they weren’t.

Jeanne’s undergraduate major was math; but she didn’t need a degree to calculate that, at $9.21 a pack (with Illinois, Cook County and Chicago taxes), cigarettes were burning an irreparable hole in her monthly budget—more than $200 in cold hard cash that she could have saved or spent on something more beneficial, like food or a health club membership or fun, like designer pumps or books.

Jeanne had the option of clutching her habit, even though it didn’t serve her well, and complaining incessantly about the high cost of cigarettes and the bitter Chicago winter, as her teeth chattered between puffs. That’s what most of us do when adversity strikes: We get stuck in what we think is a comfort zone. It’s not.

Longing for what was (in this case, cheaper smokes) prevents us from experiencing the blessing of what is (a healthier body). Most new situations demand change, and change removes us from the familiar; that’s why we are so hell-bent against it. It’s like the old adage, “Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.” We don’t want to be stagnant, but we don’t want to change, either. Can’t have both: We can’t grow unless we move from our current level—and take the lessons we’ve learned with us.

As Albert Einstein once said, “The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.” Makes sense, but whether it’s a problem in our workplaces, our relationships or our checkbooks, we still look for answers by maintaining the same thoughts and beliefs, and consequently we take the same shortsighted and often counter-productive actions.

What if, instead of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, we approached challenges from a higher level of thinking? Aloft, we might be able to see our problems differently. If nothing else, they would look smaller and have less power over us, and absolutely no power over our emotional state.

Thinking about our problems (or obsessing about how to solve them) every waking hour not only holds the problems in the mass between our ears, it slows the natural cycle of their departure. Quite possibly, acquiring answers requires less thought and more creativity.

If you can accept that possibility, maybe you can imagine this: You are more powerful than you think—and you have access to more powerful answers than you know: Just for fun, close your eyes and imagine Earth as a sphere the size of a tennis ball. Hold it in your hand.

Imagine that this ball is inhabited by millions of intelligent, invincible and invisible beings—each made in the image of their Creator. Let’s call them souls, for lack of a better term. You can’t see them and they can’t see each other unless they’re wearing some kind of physical gear. Let’s call that gear a “body.”

Are you still with me? OK. Now let’s suppose that none of these intelligent beings is native to the tennis ball planet; everyone is a visitor. They come for only one purpose: to play a fascinating and clever game called “So, You Think This Is Life?” The rules of the game are simple and redundant, by design:

1. Do nothing to others that you wouldn’t want others to do to you.


2. Love others as you love yourself.


3. Forgive others’ mistakes the same way you’d want yours forgiven.

All acts that violate these simple rules are self-punishing: As one of the books available on the tennis ball admonishes: “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment that you pronounce, you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.” (Matthew 7.1-2)

Long story short: Violating these simple rules absolutely sucks the fun out of the game. But even that misery doesn’t last forever because every invisible soul enters the game (and the planet) with an exit strategy. Every soul gets out alive. After all, they were made in their Creator’s image, so they are just as invincible and eternal. By contrast, no body has ever left the game alive. Many are so focused on what happens when the game clock runs out that they fail to accomplish the goals of the experience.

The real object of this game, which is very popular among the invisible intelligent beings, is to remember how creative and powerful they are—no matter what distracts them or scares them into believing that they’re mortal. Mortals are naturally afraid. Fear naturally leads to failure because fearful souls have impaired cognitive ability. In fact, they’re too afraid to trust anyone to successfully navigate them through the challenges of the game. And what an extremely challenging game it is, which is why billions of souls are so attracted to the little sphere.

If given the opportunity to spend a brief period, let’s say an average of 75 tennis ball years (a bat of an eyelash in the infinite scheme of life), navigating through a variety of dramatic scenarios designed to make you forget that you are eternal, would you try it? What if you could bolster your chances of success by playing the game as a team sport? Like you, some of your team members are inside physical bodies and have egos. They can be helpful, but not consistently, because their physical trappings are also handicapping them.

Luckily, some of your teammates are not visible. They are sparks of Divine Light. They have not forgotten who you are, and they have agreed to remind you and guide you back on track whenever you wander out of bounds.

Despite their accessibility, chances are, you only consult with them unconsciously, when your ego/personality and body are asleep. Rarely do you recall what happened or the guidance that you were given. You can’t understand why you’re not making progress.

Perhaps you’ve noticed that others are able to overcome more challenges in a shorter period of time, and rarely are they fearful, stressed over overwhelmed when a challenge arises. Just a guess, but these souls are probably consulting with the Divine more frequently, through prayer or meditation, and they have managed to maintain some perspective. They remember who they are and why they are here, despite the fear-peddling and other chaos that run rampant on this small sphere.

What if you, as an infinite and powerful Soul, were aware that whatever you are experiencing right now is precisely what you need to go through to grow to the next level? Perhaps this difficulty might have been created to get your attention so that you could get back on course. Perhaps it’s merely balancing out one of the rules you might have broken. No matter what the reason, until you learn the lesson inherent in the experience, you are bound to repeat it until you do.

What do we create when we believe that life is difficult and that we serve a hurtful, vindictive, complicated and capricious God who solves problems by satanically killing and torturing people? Confusion, fear and pain. Maybe we stand a better chance of winning this game if we consider that everything we experience is designed for our benefit—even if it’s an astronomical price tag on a pack of worthless cigarettes.

More trust = more peace

I had a different topic in mind for this week's homily. Then I was abruptly awakened and given a new one. It was almost 3 o'clock this morning. That's when my phone rang.

It was my daughter, Maiysha. She was in the Amsterdam airport, en route to South Africa, and she was in tears.

"It appears that my wallet is missing," she said calmly, but I could hear the tears in her voice.

There have been many moments during her young life that Maiysha has made me immensely proud. The moment she spoke those words ranked among my favorites: Why? She'd told me that it appeared that her wallet, debit card and all her cash were missing.

Whoo hoo! Maiysha not only had heard the Loud Mouth's rants, she'd internalized them. How many times had I told her that what happens on planet Earth is a physical appearance--only a shadow of what's really happening in the world of Spirit, the Source of all Life? How many times had I said that when we believe that the physical plane is real and the spiritual plane is not, we're more likely to live in fear, a state that prevents us from thinking clearly and responding appropriately when challenges arise?

Those concepts are tough to embrace because, like most of us, Maiysha spends practically every waking moment with people who believe that physical life is Life Itself.

"Remember to breathe," I said, reminding her of the email message from "Loving Each Day" that I'd forwarded hours earlier. (If you're ready to think rather than blindly accept others' beliefs, treat yourself to a free subscription of these daily thought-provoking emails.) Yesterday's message was:

"When you find yourself in a tense situation, for example, you may notice that you are holding your breath. Putting your attention on your breathing can help you relax and immediately be in the here and now. This practice, found in many spiritual traditions, is often referred to as mindfulness, being present, or living in the now.

"You may ask, since we're breathing all the time, why do we need to practice it? What we're practicing is conscious awareness of the breath. Then breathing becomes a concentration exercise that not only focuses the mind but brings many healing benefits as well."

- John-Roger with Paul Kaye
(From: Momentum, Letting Love Lead - Simple Practices for Spiritual Living, p. 61)

"I am trying to breathe, Mom," Maiysha said. "Actually, it's helping me stay calm."

True, she wasn't flipping out, despite the disappointment of retracing her steps, speaking with empathetic but unhelpful airport personnel, and coming up empty. Plus, her flight to Capetown left in less than an hour. Luckily, she had her passport and boarding pass. A limousine was picking her up at the airport, and her hotel was paid. But she had no money--and no access to any. As much as she hated to wake me, she needed her Mom by her side at that moment.

As I "stood" in line with her at the customer service counter, a more helpful airline employee took one look at my child's tear-filled eyes and offered to check the cabin of the plane, just in case she'd left it onboard. It was a long-shot, but the wallet hadn't turned up anywhere else. What if she'd been pick-pocketed?

I started to get dressed so that I could dash around the corner to her bank, and withdraw her daily cash limit with the duplicate debit card that had her bank had issued me. Afterward, we'd cancel both cards and I'd wire the cash to a location near her Capetown hotel.

That resolved her problem on the physical plane; but we knew there was more. We began to look deeper, pondering the questions I always ask in situations such as this: "Why did I create this predicament? How does it serve me: What learning opportunities does it present? How does it help me grow spiritually?"

When we see exclusively with our physical eyes, we miss the information, answers and blessings from Spirit that are so close to us. Seeking the opportunities for growth in every situation brings us closer to the "I am always with you" Christ Spirit that lives within us. It allows us breathe peacefully, not panic.

Sure, it was possible that thieves might have made a hefty withdrawal from their karmic accounts by trying to steal money from Maiysha's bank account; but we trusted that God would bring perfect balance to both sides. Trusting that, we also realized what a divine blessing it was that she was compelled to buy a gift for her Dad at an airport shop; otherwise, she would have been in Capetown before discovering that her wallet was missing. Finally, we trusted that the situation would resolve itself for everyone's Highest Good.

It certainly was good for me to witness Maiysha moving through this dilemma fearlessly and peacefully. She was prepared to accept the outcome of the search of the plane, no matter what. She merely hoped that she'd discover the outcome before time to board her next flight.

Finally, she spotted the agent approaching her. Before I could ask, I heard her say, "They found it!"

We breathed more deeply. What an opportunity had been presented to us. We could mouth the words, "I trust God," and we can say we trust in a perfect outcome. But until we demonstrate that trust to ourselves, they are empty words.

What was the "perfect" outcome here: having Maiysha's wallet returned intact? No, although it was. Remember "thy will be done?" That's what it means: trusting and acquiescing to the will of your Higher Self. "Perfect" was whatever her soul wanted the outcome to be, even if it meant that the body surrounding the soul went to Capetown penniless. Physical life is just a shadow.

Wow, you're not going to believe this: The phone just rang again. It was the doorman. It appears that I left my wallet in a chair downstairs a couple of hours ago. I hadn't even missed it. As I rode the elevator down to the lobby, I couldn't help but laugh at the irony. It's as if it happened so that the story angle I'd been given came full circle.

Yes, every card and every penny in the wallet were there. But I would have been as peaceful, even if they hadn't been.

Trust me: You can do this. You can enjoy the peace that comes from trusting the divine God within you, no matter what appears to go awry on planet Earth.

Will you be in the Chicago area March 26-28? The Loud Mouth in the Balcony is conducting a workshop at the Women's Leadership Conference. For more information on this event and the other dynamic presenters, visit my website: http://www.dramaqueenworkshop.com/events.html.

Is life more fun for those who think?

Truth shows up in the most unlikely places. I recently stumbled upon one of the most profound bits of truth printed on the tag of my tea bag:

"The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think."

The writer was Horace Walpole. I'd never heard of this English nobleman; but he instantly felt like kin because, like the Loud Mouth, he subscribed to his predecessor William Shakespeare's theory that "all the world's a stage." What intrigued me, however, was that Walpole seemed to be declaring that life is actually more fun for those who think--and more tragic for those who respond to life's dramas emotionally.

Let's think about that: What if you were born in the kingdom of a monarch whom no one had actually ever seen? He lived on a mountain that no one had ever visited and returned to tell firsthand stories, but you had it on good authority from well-respected leaders in the community that the king could be violently angry and vindictive. They said that he sometimes used excessive force to punish disobedience, but most of the time he simply ignored it. There was no predictability to his actions.

You never understood, and never questioned why the king behaved this way. You weren't sure what would happen if you asked why he commanded his subjects to be forgiving and nonviolent, since he didn't value or emulate this behavior. And why did he demand love, worship, and money?
Can you really love this volatile hypocrite? Could you truly entrust your life to him--or would you continue to live in fear, stress out, like everyone else around you?

Have you noticed that fearful people are typically reactionary and rarely rational? Take the leaders in this kingdom, for instance: To save themselves and others from a horrible and painful fate, they might create rules, regulations, restrictions, rituals, readings and regimens designed to appease the tyrannical king. Their aim was to control behaviors in the kingdom so that they could control outcomes from the king, especially since good people got hurt when he summoned the forces of nature against the entire kingdom.

Fearful people are more likely to create stories or dramas that support their fears and rally support from others. After all, who wants to be in a frightening situation alone? Since the beginning of recorded time, the most effective tool used to control human behaviors and outcomes is...Fear. It launches a never-ending cycle of drama of the most tragic kind.

Is the ruler of your kingdom a vindictive hypocritical tyrant? How can your life become less tragic?