How to Speed (Spiritually) in Neutral

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A spirit of uncertainty has wafted into our personal space, our nation and our world. It has surprised even the most positive of thinkers, and has made the fearful even more apprehensive. Amid reports of foreclosures, plummeting housing values and unemployment figures, an article in Sunday’s New York Times claims that millions of jobless Americans don’t appear in the official labor statistics. They are the ones who have tried unsuccessfully for months or years to find work, and have given up hope. They’ve stopped saying, “What do I do now?”

Actually, there are a few things they can do that they probably haven’t even tried. The first thing I’d suggest is spending at least one day a week volunteering with an organization whose mission and values reflect their own. Make some little corner of the world better. Like everything we do, helping others cycles back to us through the Law of Attraction/Reciprocity. There is always a payday of fulfillment when we serve others. Fulfillment is a mighty antidote to repeated rejection, self-doubt and hopelessness.

There’s something else that all of us can do to speed us along the path to greater fulfillment: become neutral. I practice being in neutral, not judging circumstances and human beings as one thing or another. Being in neutral allows me to hear the “still small voice” that responds to, “What do I do now?” In neutral, I am open to more possibilities and much greater outcomes than my physical brain can fathom.

Friends frequently remark that no matter what happens, I always land on my feet: The greater the adversity, the more magnificent the rebound. Bring it on! I am so encouraged by the outcomes that I have consistently experienced that I’m trying to adopt neutrality as a lifestyle. My soul appears to be supporting me in this endeavor.

While practicing neutrality this past weekend, I’ve received a daily “Loving Each Day” email that urged neutrality as a means to accomplish much:

“[N]eutrality does not mean inaction. It is putting all of your energy in the proper direction. You can accomplish much in the state of neutrality because you won't be wasting time fighting yourself.” John-Roger

Hours later, I attended an elegant birthday luncheon for 85-year-young Floncia Sutton,the mother of four of my absolutely fabulous girlfriends. As the program progressed, Mrs. Sutton’s longtime friends and church members spoke about her grace and strength. Her pastor revealed that he had adopted her as his grandmother, occasionally seeking her wise counsel. Everyone marveled that Mrs. Sutton rarely speaks above a whisper; she commands the attention, respect and obedience of young and old with a look or even a clearing of the throat. They frequently attributed the source of her power to Isaiah 40:31, her favorite Bible verse:

“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary: and they shall walk, and not faint.”

And there it was again; Isaiah was talking about neutrality: The space where we can calmly and peacefully wait for every challenge to be resolved, every decision to be made, and every hurt to be healed in the most perfect way, at the most perfect time. Neutrality is a spa, a holy place where we enjoy the All-Knowing Benevolent Spirit within our very souls. We come here to melt away stress and anxiety; we find total peace, no matter what drama surrounds us in the physical world. In neutral, we ask for guidance from the God within and we hold only one expectation: The outcome will be divine and on time. In neutral, it’s impossible to be disappointed or rejected, even if the outcome is not what our physical bodies—Ego-Selves—desired. In neutral, we are aware that we are not merely finite bodies; we are infinite souls, invisible spirit, made in the image of our Creator. In neutral, our desire is to fulfill our soul’s mission, and we want to know more about that.

When I’m in neutral, I am sometimes we are guided to do something very specific: call someone, investigate something, or go somewhere. Other times, it appears as if I’m receiving no response at all. While it frustrated me at first, I’ve learned that the silence is an opportunity to practice patience. It simply means, “Be still—and know that I am God.” Over the years, I’ve observed that my challenge was being resolved in the most perfect way and at the most perfect time, with no help required from me. My job is merely to stay in neutral, stay open, ready to receive, and ready to shift into gear when prompted, not a moment earlier.

Surely you’ve noticed that when a car must be in neutral, even if the engine isn’t running, if it is to be pushed or towed to another, usually more suitable location. Neutrality is an active state of readiness. It doesn’t mean that we’ve shut down; we’re idling, not idle. Our arms are wide open, ready to lovingly embrace the guidance or inspiration that comes from within.

We can only receive the benefits of neutrality’s peaceful space when we completely trust God. Neutrality has simplified my prayer in all situations: “I lovingly allow this matter to be resolved for the Highest Good of all concerned, and I await divine direction for any next steps.”

Disappointment is only possible when we allow the Ego-Self to make the decisions and judge the outcomes. That’s when we find ourselves in the “If I woulda, coulda, shoulda” dramas. The Ego wants us to rely on our limited human understanding. It is entertained when we frustrate ourselves, trying to fit square pegs into round holes, trying to bring God into alignment with our physical desires. I’m sure that Soul is looking at our bodies and wondering, “What part of ‘This is not working’ don’t they understand?”

It works when we allow, when we gently sit our Ego Self down and allow ourselves to be divinely led instead of trying to lead the Divine. We experience one victory after another when we relinquish control of our outcomes to our Higher Selves, when we “wait on the Lord,” when we’re able to maintain our integrity when we say, “Thy will be done on Earth.” In neutral, we always get what we want—because we want what God wants. Funny how that works.

Life on Earth provides us plenty of opportunities to practice neutrality. No one on the planet experiences a life without challenges. I call them “growth opportunities” because each offers us the chance to respond differently than we have in the past, and get a different result. The next time you experience disappointment, you’ll know that you aren’t in neutral. When you become angry because something didn’t go the way you wanted, you aren’t in neutral; you’re not open to allowing your soul’s experience on Earth to unfold in the way that it desires.

I have a mantra: “If it’s mine, I’ll get it. If it’s not, I don’t want it.” That frees me to focus on other stuff instead of obsessing over a particular outcome. I totally trust God to resolve everything divinely. I can keep it moving.

Try neutrality next time and notice how utterly peaceful you are as you journey through your many “growth opportunities.” Do it consciously and consistently, and you’ll notice that no matter what happens, no one will be able to rob your peace—no matter how much they clown or how un-Christlike they behave. You’ll be able to climb into the balcony of their drama, and love them anyway. I often find myself feeling sorry for these bad actors “for they know not what they do” to themselves through the Law of Attraction/Reciprocity.

Notice how empowering this is. See its effects on the body. Take a look at a woman who's been “waiting on the Lord” longer than many of us have been in these bodies: Head high, shoulders back, standing tall, Mrs. Sutton is fearless, full of power, full of grace, full of joy and unshakably peaceful.

She wasn’t born to privilege, and she’s had her share of “growth experiences.” But she has not accumulated burdens, anger, resentment or regret; she is not broken or bowed. Mrs. Sutton carries herself with the dignity, grace and loving demeanor of someone who knows and trusts God so totally that she is content to wait. She has mastered the art of speeding in neutral.

What would you look like if you seized every opportunity to respond differently to your growth opportunities? How peaceful, how strong would you be if you asked for divine guidance, listened for and accepted the response and followed the directions? Try practicing today, and see if you can learn to speed in neutral from now on.

Why it's not as bad as you thought

Friends periodically share bits of wisdom from their e-mailboxes that they think will make me shout, “Amen!” One of my recent favorites came from my friend Jean Hill, who passed along a post from life balance expert Mary LoVerde’s “Words of Wisdom” newsletter. In it, Ms. LoVerde recounted the experience of meeting U.S. Airways pilot Chesley B. Sullenberger, III. It was Captain Sullenberger who skillfully executed that miraculous landing on the Hudson River last January, saving all 155 physical bodies on board.

Thinkers probably noted that I didn’t make the claim, as many news outlets did, that Captain Sullenberger saved 155 lives. That’s because he didn’t, not really. It’s impossible to save a life. Life is invisible, invincible and eternal. Physical bodies, on the other hand, are a different story. On occasion, there must be some intervention so that they can continue to be seen in the physical world. And that’s what Captain Sullenberger heroically did. But I digress…

During LoVerde’s brief chat with Captain Sullenberger, he described the death-defying crash landing. He recalled that, seconds after he brought the Airbus A320 aircraft to rest on the icy river, he and co-pilot Jeff Skiles turned to each other and said in unison, “Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought.”

Ah, yes. How often do we discover, after we’ve been through the fire, that the adrenaline-pumping journey wasn’t as bad as we thought? All we could see when the flames were nipping our heels and hind parts, were that we were catching sho-nuff hell.

For many years, that certainly was the case for me. As I have detailed in my books, many of my life dramas have had minimal entertainment value: divorces (no, the “s” was not a typo), evictions (ditto), negative cash flow and mounds of debt, un-Christlike co-workers and employers, non-paying clients, relationships with silly boys wearing men’s bodies, and the deaths of loved ones. None of it was the least bit pleasant until I decided to see those experiences differently—yes, even the deaths of those who are near and dear to my heart were no longer painful.

Changing your perception will change your response. I’ve taken you chapter-by-chapter through the epiphanies that rose to meet me during my “spiritual sleuthing” expeditions, my investigations of the behind-the-scenes causes of my unpleasant dramas. In every case, I concluded, “Well, that wasn’t as bad as I thought.” In fact, the drama was actually good because every situation delivered a blessing—most notably, a deeper understanding of myself, of Life, and of God.

When you understand the difference between life and Life, power and force, when you know who and what you are, God no longer works in “mysterious” ways. Nobody goes through life on Planet Earth without challenges. Nobody. Based on your understanding, you will respond to those challenges by:

• Concluding that you’re a victim;
• Fighting the current condition by leaning on your limited human understanding; or
• Patiently trusting that what you’re experiencing right now benefits you in some way, and asking for the guidance necessary to move on.
  

Each response reflects your understanding of who you are, what Life is and what God is. As the late Emmet Fox, a profound New Thought Christian minister, once said: “There’s no such thing as undemonstrated understanding.” In other words, what you understand is evident in the outer world.

What I understand is that every life experience has a purpose. Because I believe that God is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent Love, I understand that whatever happens, no matter how potentially painful, lovingly serves me in a powerful way. Nothing happens to me, it happens for me.

Recently, several persons have revealed a surprising lack of integrity. That’s good information to know. At an earlier time, I would have responded to them very differently—probably with anger and pain—because I had a different understanding of Life and God. I’m sure I would have judged them. I would have strung together a series of adjectives that described them as less honorable than I—as if I’d never done anything dishonorable. Please. They were just showing me what it looks and feels like from the other side. The appropriate response: Empathy and forgiveness because I’ve been there, and done it. How can I be unforgiving if I want to be forgiven?

I don’t have to understand the reason everything happens. My understanding tells me that there was one—and a good one at that. For all I know, the reason might have been to give me an opportunity to balance out my own errant behavior or practice reacting in a less judgmental, more Christ-like manner. After all, how do you reach enlightenment? Practice, practice, practice.

Those of us who desire to grow spiritually (and what soul doesn’t) are bound to attract negative people and woeful drama. These bad acts and actors serve us in mighty, mighty ways. We bless them and we love them for working on our behalf. They’re not doing anything to us; they’re doing it all for us. Yippee!

And there’s an additional benefit: I have discovered that I am consciously aware of how peaceful I am, even as these situations are occurring. How empowering is that? It’s not an “I’m more enlightened than you are” moment. It’s a “Yes, I remember when I wasn't totally honest” moment.

C’mon now, we’ve all had crazy moments. Some of them might have been crazier than others; but all of them had one thing in common: They did not reflect the God in us. So who are we to get mad or judge somebody else’s crazy?

Empathizing with the other person—loving and forgiving them, even if I don’t like them or their behavior—doesn’t generate the negative energy in my soul or poisonous chemicals in my body that anger and resentment do. Aside from pitting out a perfectly good silk blouse, an angry response revisits me as an angry response when I err. Ultimately, my understanding serves me more powerfully, and reduces my cleaning bill.

Understanding Life and God gives us the confidence to trust that the Law of Reciprocity will balance all behavior perfectly—and it will direct our path so that we will respond appropriately and in a manner that does not put us on a collision course with the Law.

Whatever you're going through right now, what is your understanding of it? Does your understanding bring you peace or fear? Worry and fear constrict the body. What solutions can flow through to you if you are not chatting regularly with the God within you, and leaving yourself open to receive the guidance you need? I'm not talking about telling God what you want. I'm talking about listening, really listening. Then act on the guidance you're given.

Chesley Sullenberger demonstrated his understanding of the Law of Aerodynamics when he bravely landed that plane on the Hudson. Notice what understanding you demonstrate when confronted with a crisis, and see if you don’t more frequently conclude: “Well, that wasn’t as bad as I thought.”

Love you. Mean it!

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Love the Loud Mouth LIVE at an Upcoming Event in Chicago!

If you missed the three-day Women’s Conference in June, I have good news: By popular demand, authors Shirley Lawson, Stephanie Wilson-Coleman and I will conduct sessions at “The Women’s Conference Follow-Up” on Saturday, September 19. This time, it’s in Chicago, at Power Circle Center, 9350-64 S. South Chicago Avenue.

This special event is presented by the Training, Development and Networking Team of the Alpha Omega Sisterhood, a ministry of the Power Circle Congregation, the Rev. Joseph E. Hill, founder and senior minister.

For more information and to register for only $40, visit Drama Queen Workshops.

Answered Prayer: When Heart and Soul Agree

There’s nothing more rewarding than being part of someone else’s blessing.

I recently received an emotional call from a friend (we’ll call her Laura) who was witnessing a revelation. Like many of my friends these days, Laura’s between jobs and her money has lost its elasticity. She can't seem to stretch it far enough to cover her expenses. In deference to that, several months ago her sister hosted a “wishing well” birthday party to provide some financial support. Friends were asked to contribute.

I was unable to attend, so I bought a birthday card and planned to insert a check. I was in the middle of a move and living in a temporary location. I couldn’t find my checkbook, so I set the card aside and obviously put something on top of it. After a while, out of sight was out of mind.

A couple of weeks ago, after I was settled into my new place, I ran across the bright orange and yellow card, but I had a different problem: Laura’s address wasn’t in my directory. I set the card on my not so uncluttered desk and lost sight of it again. A few days later, I spotted it. Determined to get it out of the apartment, I stopped what I was doing, wrote a check and tracked down her address; then I walked directly to the mailbox before any other goofiness ensued.

The next day, Laura left lengthy messages on my office and mobile phones. The excitement in her voice was a mixture of joy and tears. Here’s why:

She had a mortgage payment due in two days. That day, she was unexpectedly paid early for two small freelance projects and a friend had loaned her a little money; but when she returned home that evening, she was still $40 short of her mortgage. When she opened her mail, she discovered my $50 check. She was ecstatic!

Everything had come together in the most perfect way, at the most perfect time. If I had sent the check earlier, who knows, she might have already spent it on something else. My serial delays had served as an absent-minded savings account, belatedly delivering the money to Laura exactly when she needed it. Divine Order: I was almost as excited to witness it as she was.

Last week I heard from Laura again. This time, she was sending one of those lovely email chain letters. At least this one didn’t threaten that Jesus would deny me to his Father if I didn’t forward it. But it did urge me to make a wish and forward the email to a specified number of people (in this case, a dozen plus the sender). On a specified day (in this case, the fourth), the message claimed, something would happen.

Because I don’t believe that God or fairies bestow blessings based on the number of emails we shoot into Cyberspace, I did what I always do when I receive these messages: I asked Laura, “Did you ask the previous recipients what happened on their fourth day?” Then I heartlessly deleted it.

A couple of days ago, Laura sent me an update: “On the fifth day, I received an unexpected check for $800!” she exclaimed.

I’m not one to snub my nose at anyone's cash windfall, but I wasn’t impressed. I was, however, a bit curious about the details of Laura’s $800 surprise. So I pried my fingers from the computer keyboard, picked up the phone and had a human-to-human conversation.

I discovered that the check was actually a refund of the same mortgage payment that Laura had made the week before—a payment that left her only a few dollars to survive.

“I had just decided to let go of this house instead of letting it stress me out,” Laura laughed. “As soon as I released it, this happened.”

What happened was that Laura received word that her mortgage company had gone out of business. As a result, they couldn’t accept any loan payments, and all monies were being returned until the new lender could service the accounts.

Did Laura receive the $800 because she had mentally “let go” of her home? As we know, sometimes when we “let go and let God,” situations don’t always improve, in human terms. Sometimes the possession, loved one or relationship literally goes away—temporarily or permanently.

On the physical level, we typically perceive this as “loss.” Sometimes we respond by sinking into despair or struggling to hold onto what we believe we lost. As we grow to trust God completely, however, we are better able to understand that everything in the physical world is constantly undergoing change. The life span of all physical things is finite. As we evolve into an “egoless” state of mind, as philosopher Eckhart Tolle calls it, we are able to accept all departures as Divine Will. Instead of anxiety, fear, anger or desperation, we feel peaceful because we know that if he, she or it went away, it was divinely ordered and the Divine only works for our Highest Good.

That certainly appears to be Laura's attitude. She isn’t interpreting her $800 refund as a signal that she will keep her home. All she knows is that she can keep it right now. She also knows that the unexpected check did not result from her forwarding the nebulous email. It also didn’t arrive because she prayed a certain prayer, called a certain name or clicked her heels three times.

That money was destined to return to her that day because it was her soul’s desire. Maybe it wanted her body to have grocery money; I don’t know. I do know, however, that if the soul had not desired it, it would not be there.

The $800 didn't solve Laura's problems, long term. The mortgage bill will become due again soon. What’s important is that she continues to “let go” and faithfully awaits God’s direction, rather than tries to manipulate God to follow her directions.

“Letting go” is not a physical ploy disguised a spiritual tactic to get what we want. It is a divine way of allowing our hearts to agree with our souls. It takes great faith to stop praying for God to genuflect to our human will and start humbling ourselves to honor Divine Will. It takes great strength to still our thoughts and shut our mouths long enough to hear and observe the direction that the Divine is revealing to us.

Many of us believe that we can change the conditions in our physical lives solely by changing the thoughts that run through our physical brains, by saying a prescribed word or phrase, or by changing our actions. Our life experiences have taught us that it really doesn’t work that way. If our bodies, brains and emotions were in charge, we’d all be independently wealthy, staring adoringly into our soulmates' eyes and in tip-top physical shape—effortlessly, of course.

We spend a lot of time doing instead of being. We think that we have to “make things happen.” We think we are alone, that no one is looking out for our best interest. But we’re not alone. We’re in a serious, committed relationship. Our souls are married to our bodies—until physical death do we part.

Like all marriages, the peacefulness of the home requires harmonious communication between the partners. What happens when one partner makes important decisions without consulting the other? Chaos, tension and unhappiness--the same results you get whenever your heart and soul do not agree.

At prayer time, do you beg or bond with your partner? Do the desires of your heart conflict or collaborate with the desires of your soul? How do you know? When do you plan to find out? Whenever you do, you will start to experience real change, accelerated growth and consistently answered prayers.

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Love it LIVE—An Upcoming Event in Chicago!

If you missed the three-day Women’s Conference in June, I have good news: By popular demand, authors Shirley Lawson, Stephanie Wilson-Coleman and I will conduct sessions at “The Women’s Conference Follow-Up” on Saturday, September 19. This time, it’s in Chicago, at Power Circle Center, 9350-64 S. South Chicago Avenue.

This special event is presented by the Training, Development and Networking Team of the Alpha Omega Sisterhood, a ministry of the Power Circle Congregation, the Rev. Joseph E. Hill, founder and senior minister.

For more information and to register for only $40, visit Drama Queen Workshops.

Is God incomplete without you?

In my living room are a variety of sentimental artifacts, including card decks from some of my favorite books, among them, Disappearance of the Universe by Gary Renard and A Course in Miracles. I was always intimidated by the Course until I read Renard’s wonderfully insightful book. Bless him! Most of the missing pieces from years of spiritual sleuthing finally fell into place. All the fuzzy stuff suddenly became clear. I had an even better understanding of God, Life and the purpose of the Earth experience.

When I discovered that digestible morsels from the book had been captured on a deck of cards, I had to own one and share it. Invariably, soon after guests sit on the sofa, they reach over, grab a card or an entire handful, and discover one, then another and another that speaks to them.

Frequently, they ask if they can keep a particular card. My response is always the same: “If it resonated with you, it surely will resonate with someone else, so let’s make sure it’s there so that they can enjoy it, too.”

The card that hit the sweet spot for two guests last week was one of my favorites from my A Course in Miracles deck. When she read it aloud, I was surprised that it resonated with me as deeply as it did the first time I saw it:

“God Himself is incomplete without me,” Josie said.

My heart skipped a beat. Again. I was reminded that if a spark of the omnipresent God is within each of us—whether or not we choose to acknowledge or behave as if we are the Spiritual Light of the physical world—we are an integral part of the Whole, the only thing that eternally exists in the Universe: God.

Of course, we don’t have to believe everything we read. However, I found that the idea of being part of the greatness that is God not only empowering; it challenged me to step it up, do better and be better. Moreover, it not only made me feel closer and truly loved; I felt that I was actually part of that unconditional love. I was challenged to reflect that love in my interactions with other souls.

"God is incomplete without me." I tried it on for size. It looked good and it felt good. In fact, it made me feel that I was good. From childhood, I had been taught that God was way, way over there and I was, well, way over here. For years, I had recited in church that I was “not worthy.” What child really believes that her parents love her if they make her feel that she’s unworthy and encourages others to tell her that she’s unworthy? What child loves herself if she believes that she is unworthy? How does that impact her self esteem, not to mention her behavior? Is it destructive or constructive?

I had a colleague who used to wear a t-shirt that said, “Act Godly.” For me, it was a wonderful reminder to be unconditionally loving, patient and forgiving; allow others the free will to meet the natural consequences of their actions. Others might receive a different message from it, depending upon their perception of God. To them, “acting godly” might mean being dictatorial, intervening, angry, condescending, spiteful, punitive, filicidal and/or genocidal.

It’s a slippery slope that should make us watch our steps. At minimum, it encourages us to be aware of our beliefs and the impact those beliefs have on our behavior.

I don’t doubt that some are appalled by the idea that we are close to God, not to mention part of God. Many might consider such an idea preposterous, if not sacrilegious. They may even feel that God would be offended by the idea that mere humans would consider themselves divine. In fact, within the first hour of posting this, three people unsubscribed. So we must acknowledge and respect that viewpoint.

What do you think: Are you part of the Whole, which makes God incomplete without you–or is God separate and complete despite you?

Why We Consistently Create Disappointment

Last week we discussed the phenomenon that prompted millions of us to buy into the claim that the Law of Attraction was a “secret.” After spending our hard-earned money, we discovered that we’d known the “secret” since childhood: You reap what you sow.

The Law of Attraction/Reciprocity has now been reincarnated, reinterpreted, repackaged and monetized as a means by which we can we sow positive thoughts and reap desired possessions, conditions and people into our lives. Thinkers: What do we know about laws? Physical or spiritual, they produce the same outcome 100% of the time for 100% of the people.

Positive thoughts, affirmations and visualizations have no impact on a law. Visualize yourself releasing a brick from your hand. Meditate on it floating into the sky. Feel the excitement of defying gravity. Now, let the brick go. Did it fall up?

How does the Law of Attraction work in its 21st Century incarnation, exactly? Does it enable us to attract our every desire 100% of the time? Shouldn't it, if it's called a law? What if we all want to have lots of money without working? Can we leverage the Law for that? Shouldn't we be able to?

I read a story today about a guy in Kansas who won the lottery for the second time in a year. Last September, he won $75,000. Now he’s won nearly $900,000. Did he leverage the Law of Attraction the first time and become more proficient the second? Maybe…

“When I hit $75,000, I figured lighting struck once, it won't ever hit again,” he said. “This one knocked me flat!”

OK, so the Law didn’t have anything to do with it. He had consciously rejected the idea of beating the odds again; but it happened anyway. I'm confused. That's not the way it's supposed to work. Is it? Generally, when the Law doesn't work as predicted, the explanation usually includes some tactical error: didn't do enough this or did too much of that. I am not convinced, for any number of reasons. Let me just cite a few:

Years ago, budding actor Dustin Hoffman wanted only to enjoy practicing his craft; he didn’t want to be famous. But it happened anyway. Years later, Oprah Winfrey was scared to death when our general manager decided to move her time slot to compete directly with Phil Donahue. She was sure that Donahue would annihilate her in the ratings; her dominant thought was fear. But she became the world’s most successful talk show host anyway.

What does this say about the power of thought and the Law of Attraction? Perhaps it’s this: You're experiencing your soul’s life, not your body’s. Your physical brain and the desires of your body cannot reroute your eternal soul’s path. If your body and soul are not in agreement, your body will not get what it wants, when it wants it, no matter what metaphysical principles you practice.

Consider the possibility that each eternal soul’s finite experience on Earth has a purpose. That purpose is sometimes lofty, sometimes not. On occasion, a soul wants to experiment, push the envelope, and explore the possibilities on Planet Earth. Other times, a soul paves a distinct path, and everyone that it is destined to meet and all of the experiences that it has designed for its pleasure or growth are awaiting its arrival. In other words, as I like to say, the script is already written. Then someone tells your body that it can write a new script. Let's climb into the balcony and see what that looks like:

INTERIOR: GOD’S FAMILY ROOM, FLOODED WITH LIGHT AND FILLED WITH FROLICKING KIDS

God is relaxing, watching them play, when a very serious looking child who has been staring out of the window suddenly beams himself next to his Father’s side. God leans over and kisses the child’s forehead.

GOD
(smiling)
Well, hello there, my little cherub. You’re looking awfully unhappy. What’s on your mind?

BLISS
Joy needs you over there on Earth. You’ve got to go help! I know that you can hear her. Why are you ignoring her?

GOD
Ignoring Joy? I don’t think that’s possible. Are you sure?

BLISS
(impatiently)
Yes, I’m sure.

BLISS points to the window where he had been intently watching the flurry of activity on Earth.

BLISS
See? Joy’s just talking, talking, talking to you over there, and you’re over here, not paying attention!

GOD
(A twinkle in his eyes)
Bliss, listen to me carefully. You know how much I love Joy, right?

BLISS
(nodding)
Yes.

GOD lifts BLISS and places him on His knee.

GOD
I love Joy unconditionally—the same way I love all of my children. No matter what she does or what she says, she’s mine and I love her. True?

BLISS nods

GOD
(Holding Bliss’s little face in His hands)
Now here’s what I want you to do: Close your eyes and bring Joy into your mind.
(He pauses)
Can you see her?

BLISS
Yes. She’s still talking to you, but she keeps looking at the sky.
(He frowns, puzzled)
Why is she doing that?

GOD
She thinks I'm in the sky. But never mind that.
Now. What else do you see?

BLISS’s eyes pop open. He’s surprised—and delighted.

BLISS
I see YOU, Daddy! You’re right there with her. I see her Light. Joy still has her Light!

GOD
(smiling)
That’s right, son. There is no spot where I am not.
Now close your eyes again. What else do you see?

BLISS
You’re whispering to her. You’re telling her that what she wants right now will stop her from fulfilling the mission she created before she left home.
But Daddy--she’s won't stop talking so that she can’t hear you. She’s really, really upset that you’re not giving her what she wants.

Tears begin to stream down BLISS'S face. GOD tries to comfort him with a big hug.

BLISS
Why doesn’t she just shut up and listen to what you're trying to tell her? Why, Daddy?

GOD
Joy has simply forgot that I am there. She’s lost touch. She's been told so many times that I am far away, in the sky. Now she believes it, too.

BLISS
(sighing)
She doesn’t know that you’re right there? Can’t she see her Light? How is she going to keep from making a mess if she’s not listening?

GOD
(nodding sympathetically)
That’s the challenge all my children face when they pass through the Veil of Forgetfulness to the domain of the ego.
You know, the ego can only survive in the physical world.

BLISS
Really? It can’t beam itself anywhere else in the Universe like us souls?

GOD
No, so you can understand its frustration. Being bound to the physical world is a huge limitation. The ego would be all alone if no souls visited Earth. He makes them want to stay longer by keeping some kind of conflict going, whether it's in their heads or with each other.

Ego makes them believe that Earth is the real world, and they believe it. He promises them that they can have anything they want—and he's right. But because they think that Earth is all there is, they only want physical things.

BLISS
That's all? Just physical things? But that stuff's not forever. It's not real.

GOD
I know. Ego doesn't want them to know that. If they knew that they had as much power as they do, and they knew that the Source of that power was within them, they wouldn’t want to spend as much time over there entertaining Ego.
That’s why they’re weighed down with bodies the moment they arrive over there. It doesn't take long for them to believe that they are bodies, not souls.

BLISS
(incredulous)
No!

GOD
Yes. They’ve forgotten who they are. They’ve forgotten that they all came from the same family. They’ve forgotten their Source. They look for answers outside of themselves, when everything they need is within.

Ego encourages them to fight with each other, yearn for money and possessions, and feed the drama of Earth. They act as if Earth is the center of the Universe.

BLISS
(bursting into a giggle)
You’re telling a story, Daddy! That’s too stupid to be true.

GOD
(smiling)
We don’t judge over here, remember?
No, it’s true, son. Let me explain it to you this way: The ego has a vested interest in focusing your brothers’ and sisters’ attention on the Earth’s stage, instead of on Home.
Ego drives a wedge between us by telling them that they were born evil, and that I’m really mad at them and think they’re unworthy. It even tells them that I plan to torture most of them forever because they’re so bad. They hear it so much that they believe it.

BLISS
(alarmed)
That’s crazy! They know that you are Love, Daddy!

GOD
They knew it before they left home. But they don’t stop to ask, “Would Love do that?” Instead, they believe that I hurt people.

BLISS
But if they really believe that, why would they ask you to help them when they’re in trouble? Why would they expect anyone so mean to really help them?

GOD
Because Ego also told them that even though I’m a tyrant who demands worship, I also am a loving Father. So if they beg just the right way and do just the right things, I’ll grant their requests.

BLISS
And they believe THAT? Are tyrants loving? Does a loving Father torture? That’s stu— I mean, that doesn’t make any sense!
So how do they get what they want? And what if the thing they want isn’t the right thing for them? They expect you to just say yes? That must be the tyrant part, not the loving Father part, right?

GOD
I know it’s confusing. But that’s what happens when souls rely on human brains for understanding, instead of seeking Divine Guidance. It’s a challenge. In fact, Joy and I talked about this before she left.

BLISS
(concerned)
But, Daddy, she forgot! Wha-what’s going to happen to her now? Look at her; she’s working so hard to make things go her way. She’s so sure that this is the right thing.

GOD
(nodding)
I know.

BLISS
It’s not right for her, is it?

GOD
No, son, it’s not. But she has free will. She controls her outcomes, not me. There’s a natural consequence for every decision she makes. If she keeps doing what she’s doing and keeps meeting disappointment and heartache, she may decide to be still and listen to the still small voice within her.

I am not going anywhere. I’ll be there whenever she wants to talk to me, and I will give her guidance whenever she wants to listen.

BLISS
(gently leaning his head on God’s chest)
Thanks, Daddy. What would we do without you?

GOD
(leaning over to kiss BLISS forehead)
You’ll never have to find out, son. You’ll never have to find out.

LIGHT FADES, CURTAIN FALLS

Why the rule is golden

What if, at the end of the day, you will not be held accountable for what others did to you, only what you did to them—no matter what they did to you?

I don’t know about you; but frankly, this kind of accountability is scarier than the claim that God will burn my soul in a fiery hell. (By the way, if there are any physicists out there, please leave a comment or a link explaining how a physical element such as fire actually burns a non-physical soul. Or is that complication why it takes all eternity to accomplish this task?)

I admit that I probably spend more time thinking about this stuff than most folks, but I am absolutely fascinated by the way humans behave, because it's such an accurate reflection of what they believe about Life and about God. Anoint my little pointed head with oil if you feel I’m off-base here; but if God is Love, “He” would not use torture as a tactic or a threat to correct errant behavior. And let’s face it: It hasn’t been very effective. That’s proof enough for me that the real God, the one and only God, does not solve problems this way.

What seems more a godly and powerful way to address sin/error, and what makes better sense to me, is the Law of Reciprocity. What is that, exactly? It must be important because all of the major religions of the world warn us to respect it. Perhaps these words are familiar to you:

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, for this is the law and
the prophets.” Christianity

“What is hurtful to yourself do not do to your fellow man. That is the
whole of the Torah and the remainder is but commentary.” Judaism

“Do unto all men as you would wish to have done unto you; and reject for
others what you would reject for yourselves.” Islam

“Hurt not others with that which pains yourself.” Buddhism

Tzu-Kung asked: “Is there one principle upon which one’s who life may
proceed?” The Master replied, “Is not Reciprocity such a principle?—what you do
not yourself desire do not put before others.” Confucianism

“This is the sum of all true righteousness—Treat others as thou
wouldst thyself be treated. Do nothing to thy neighbor that hereafter Thou
wouldst not have thy neighbor do to thee.” Hinduism
Oneness: Great Principles Shared by All Religions

Most of us don't take these words seriously. By the way we treat our friends, co-workers, employees, lovers and even strangers, it's clear we haven't noticed that we hurt ourselves significantly when we ignore the potential pain that the Law of Reciprocity can usher into our lives.

“Do unto others only what you’d want done to you” is the clearest and
simplest way to avoid the flip side of reciprocity. In Loud Mouth-speak, it
boils down to: “Whatever you do will be done to you.” But I'll let the
scriptures speak:

“It’s nature’s rule that as we sow, we shall reap.” Buddhism

“Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” Christianity

“A liberal man will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be
watered.” Judaism

“What proceeds from you will return to you.” Confucianism

“Thou canst not gather what thou dost not sow; as thou dost plant the tree
so it will grow.” Hinduism

“Whatever man soweth, that shall he reap. If he soweth trouble, trouble
shall be his harvest. If a man sow poison, he cannot expect ambrosia.” Sikhism

Oneness: Great Principles Shared by
All Religions

It’s difficult to ignore the simplicity and universality of the Law of Reciprocity when you see that so many religions teach the same message. And did I mention how divinely fair this law is: An eye for an eye, not eternal damnation for several decades of sin.


Besides being fair, the Law of Reciprocity, also known as the Law of Attraction, sets God free from a theater of endless tragedies. It lets God be godly, and maintain “His” focus on the Divine rather than the depraved. The Law requires no mind-numbing recordkeeping for numerous millennia, and it involves no demonic child abuse or other torturous tasks that do not befit a Spirit as divine as God.

If God can implant a steady stream of ideas into the minds of mere mortals to make our Internet speed faster, telephones and cameras smaller, and overall quality of life easier, it's possible that “He” could also implant a self-correcting system of accountability in our souls that would make “His” life a lot easier. That system: The Law of Reciprocity/Attraction.


We can embrace the stories that depict God as an angry, vindictive, conditionally forgiving brute who helps some of "His" kids pass their cosmetology exams and win football games and lets pedophiles prey on "His" other kids, or we can write a different script—like this one, which has greater potential for attracting more joyful reciprocal circumstances than the script we currently have adopted:

INTERIOR: GOD’S LIVING ROOM, FLOODED WITH LIGHT

God is relaxing when one of His kids runs into the room breathlessly. He looks up, smiles and lovingly strokes the child’s head.)

GOD

Well, hello there, my little angel. Why are you so excited?

JOY

Jimmy and Paul said they’re going to spend the afternoon on Earth. I wanna go, too! Can I go? Can I go?

GOD

Of course, you may go, Precious. There’s plenty of drama over there to keep you busy for several hours.

JOY

(Jumping up and down with glee)

OK. What do I need to take with me?

GOD

Sweetheart, you have everything you need right inside you. Can you see your Christ Light?

JOY

(Looking halfway down her ethereal body, and pointing toward the glowing ball of light)

Yep. It's right there!

GOD

Well, all you need to do is keep an eye on It. It will remind you that I am with you always.

JOY

(Grabbing God around the neck.)

Thanks, Daddy!

JOY runs toward the door, then pauses and turns around.

JOY

Are you going to miss me?

GOD(Laughing)

How can I miss you if I’m going with you, Sweetheart? You haven’t even crossed the Veil of Forgetfulness at the entrance to Earth, and you've forgotten that already?

JOY

(Looking sheepish)

I’m sorry, Daddy.

GOD

It’s OK, Dear. You know that all is forgiven. I just want you to enjoy yourself this afternoon. Now remember, in human time, that translates to about 75 or 80 Earth years, but when it's time to come home, you'll know. And don't forget that you still have free will. You can do anything you want to do over there, but the play rules are the same as over here.

JOY

I know: Don't do anything to anyone else that I don't want done to me, because I will reap what I sow.

GOD

That’s right, Love. Try not to forget that.And please remember to pause frequently this afternoon and look toward your Light. Just be still and think about my Unconditional Love for you. You'll feel my presence, and you'll remember that you are not alone. There is no spot where I am not.

Oh, and one more thing: There is a little troublemaker who lives on Earth. His name is Ego. He'll be talking in your head so much that you'll think that his thoughts are your thoughts. He doesn't talk as gently as Daddy. One of his tricks is to distract you so that you can't hear me when I talk to you, so quiet time will be important.

Ego wants to control you. He wants you to think that you are merely the body costume that you'll be wearing over there, and that you are mortal like your body.

JOY

(giggling)

That's so silly, Daddy. Who would believe that?

GOD

You'd be surprised. Ego is pretty clever. He takes advantage of the Veil of Forgetfulness. And he's a liar.He's going to try to convince you to lean on him instead of me,and he'll try to make you do things to others that you wouldn't want anyone to do to you.
You're strong and powerful. You'll be able to overcome him if you remember that you're mine, and he has no power over you. Just don't let him trick you into giving him your power, OK?

JOY waves and reaches for the door knob.

JOY
I won't, Daddy, I promise. I love you!

GOD

I love you more, Sweetheart. Have fun, and remember that:

• Life is always fair, so don’t do anything to anyone over there that you wouldn’t want done to you!
• God is never far. I am the Light and the Love within you.
• Don't believe anyone who tells you that death on planet Earth is “the end.”
• And this is very important, Baby Girl: Remember that absolutely nothing is unforgivable. No matter what anyone does to you, forgive them as quickly as you’d want to be forgiven if you’d made the mistake, OK?

JOY
I will, Daddy. See you shortly!

GOD
Absolutely. You’ll be back here before you know it. Now scoot, so that you will be home before dark.Have a wonderful time today. When you get back, we'll talk about all the things you did over there. OK?

LIGHT FADES, CURTAIN FALLS

Who's gonna nab the real burglar in Cambridge?

The furor over the arrest of renowned Harvard University Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. has been painful to watch, even from the balcony of Life’s dramas: Scenes littered with suspicion, mistrust and accusations of racial profiling morphed into outrage, defensiveness, retaliation and, alas, some unfortunate mug shots. None of it—not the incident, the race-based commentary or what was really happening behind the scenes—was spiritually enlightening or positively evolutionary.

If you resisted the urge to jump onto this stage and fuel the flames of racial bigotry, if you maintained some distance and climbed into the balcony of the mayhem, then you had the benefit of being detached enough to see the character stealing each scene. You could almost hear him chortling. Uh huh, it was our devious friend Ego, the Anti-Christ, gleefully yanking everybody’s chain. Yes, I said it: Your, my, our ego is the Anti-Christ.

I didn’t think that I was the first to link the two; but just to make sure, I Googled “Ego Anti-Christ.” The numerous results included books such as Real Jesus, the psychology of anti-christ, and articles. One, “How to Recognize the Anti-Christ Within” leaped from the page. There was even an Oprah.com Community post, “The anti-Christ is NOT a person.”

Millions are waiting for the Anti-Christ to arrive, but it’s been here all along. It sits where we sit, stands where we stand, walks where we walk. And all too often, it speaks when we speak. It prods us to do and say things to others that we would not want done or said to us. It picks fights, fuels dissension, and causes us to choose angry force over peaceful power. It justifies righteous indignation over effective conflict resolution. It’s like a magnet, spinning our moral compass out of control.

Ego is the antithesis of the Christ spirit. It upstages maturity and intelligence. It stirs up mess, and through mass and social media, engages millions in divisive bickering that keeps us mired in the drama of Earth, distracting us from the greater reality of who we are and what Life is. Heaven forbid that we should choose peace, bliss out, and discover that we are more powerful than our egos led us to believe!

Ego is winning its battle for our souls, though not on merit. We’re forfeiting without even showing up.

Ego has a vested interest in highlighting our differences rather than our unifying divinity. It tells us that others are less human, less intelligent, less prosperous or not as beautiful as we are, and we should treat them offensively. We obey. It tells us that someone thinks they’re better than we are, and we should be offended. On cue, we shake our fists in rage, hearts pounding, glands sweating, blood pressure rising, literally making ourselves sick.

Ego doesn’t care whom it hurts. After all, hurt people hurt people. Hurt people also create more drama, so the ego's manipulative mission has been accomplished. Ego will act a fool and make a fool wherever humans allow: in the opulent offices of global government and business leaders, in the squalor of tent cities, refugee camps and urban ghettos, and in quiet upscale neighborhoods such as Cambridge, Massachusetts.

In every case, the human mind makes a conscious decision to relinquish control to the devilish ego. We are not as conscious of the corresponding consequences, but that can change. At any moment, we can choose to act in our own best interests.

“I can be changed by what happens to me.

I refuse to be reduced by it.”

Maya Angelou

Whenever we let the ego force us to focus on the superficial, we volunteer to be reduced—sometimes in front of huge gawking audiences. Whenever we handcuff and book someone for screaming at us, we reduce ourselves to mere ego. Whenever we ask, “Is it because I’m Black?” or retort, “I’ll talk to your mama on the porch,” we’ve let the ego win. Whenever we label ourselves as anything other than children made in the image of the Love that is God, we’ve bought into the ego’s false claims that we are only humans, defined by our differences.

Situations often arise to help us remember who and whose we are. These teachable moments allow us to practice calling on the Light of God within to anchor us to our seats so that we won’t leap onto the stage of someone else’s ego-driven drama. These are times when we can work on perfecting the art of seeing the omnipresent God Light in everyone, no matter how they’re acting.

Truth has its rewards. Without these challenging or confrontational situations, when would we have an opportunity to demonstrate our values, stand firm in the truth of our own divinity, and refuse to be diminished by anything said or done?

Whatever your reaction to the lamentable drama in Cambridge, did you observe your own values on display when you spoke or wrote about it? Others certainly noticed. While responding to my comment about the incident on Denrique Preudhomme’s blog earlier this week, a woman declared that she didn't believe that we should turn the other cheek and let God handle our problems. Furthermore, she said, God would not want us to back down from a fight with our tails tucked between our legs.

If she had not written that, the rest of us would not have known that she, like George W. Bush, perceived God as pugnacious rather than the Prince of Peace. I didn’t argue. We must give loving allowance for folks to believe what they believe. However, I did acknowledge my awareness that there are many who, like her, do not believe in the teachings of Jesus. (OK, so I also added that this is why we create, nurture and repeat these hurtful dramas. I admit that it might have been a bit judgmental. I’m working on that—mean it. Hey, if my soul was fully evolved, it wouldn't be wearing this body.)

That brief online exchange was just another of my many self-awareness tests. Sometimes I pass, sometimes I fail. The most difficult part for me is maintaining conscious awareness that many times each day I will encounter these opportunities to speak and act from my empowering Divine-Self or my destructive Ego-Self. Each decision has its corresponding consequences, which should be incentive enough. And it is, when I remember instead of getting caught up in the drama.

It’s infinitely easier to detect these growth opportunities when I watch other folks’ dramas from the balcony of their lives. Recently, several friends have approached me for support after encountering dehumanizing individuals who hadn't simply hidden their God Light under a bushel; they had buried it in a different zip code.

One friend wondered if the vile nature of her client’s in-your-face communication warranted an equally caustic and profane response “to show him who he was dealing with.” After all, she was no chump!

Because she was no chump, I suggested, wouldn’t it be a greater demonstration of her strength if she refused to allow him to blow out her Christ Light with his belittling rants? Any chump can throw verbal garbage or physical blows. Any small person can try to feel bigger by diminishing the worth of others. Only the strong can turn the other cheek, knowing that the power of the Almighty is within them. She liked that idea and accepted the challenge to flex that muscle.

A few days ago, another dear friend and mentor, a phenomenal manager in the business world, demonstrated that he is also an awesome leader in the real world. His boss, frustrated that he did not have the authority to fire my friend, spewed venomous, demeaning language in his face.

My friend didn't react, no matter how disrespectfully the man behaved in this professional setting. He refused to relinquish his power. He refused to allow the out-of-control being on the other side of the desk to force him to abandon the refuge of his Christ-Self.

He calmly observed his boss's tantrum. In fact, he said, he felt sorry for the man—and with good reason: Despite his considerable education, this man did not know what he was doing to himself physically or spiritually. He did not know that his fury was creating a chemical time bomb in his body. He did not know that this is a reap-what-you-sow world: Whatever you do will be done to you. He also did not know that your anger cannot control others’ bodies, minds or behavior unless they allow.

Luckily, most of us can exist an entire lifetime without being subjected to scenarios with this level of toxicity. I can’t say with certainty that I would have responded appropriately if I had encountered this situation before my mentor modeled—with a capital “M”—how to exude sheer power. If he can do it, we can do it.

He didn’t simply accept the opportunity to be Christ-like, he owned it. He was like the proverbial tree that’s planted in the water: He would not be moved. Despite his boss’s numerous attempts to drown him in darkness and goad him into responding insubordinately, my friend stood strong and tall in the Light, knowing that Darkness and Light cannot occupy the same space at the same time. By making this choice, he and the Light actually became One.

The irony here is that one man was a Christian minister. The other wasn’t. Guess which.

It was Ego who walked off that stage with his tail tucked between his legs—a defeat that did little to spoil its high batting average in many other places in the world, including Cambridge.

Perhaps we can further diminish its influence and impact if we simply shed light on other instances in which we held the Anti-Christ at bay. (Now wouldn’t that be a Revelation?)

What challenges have you faced that you've overcome in a powerful way? Or if you missed an opportunity, with hindsight, how would you have handled it more effectively?

Is Truth more important than facts?

In the coin section of my wallet, I carry the tag from an old teabag. It’s a quote from French Enlightenment philosopher Voltaire: “A witty saying proves nothing.” Amen.

We love clever sayings—even if they don’t make sense, even if our own life experiences have demonstrated something to the contrary, and even if we don’t fully understand the implications of the claim that is being made. We just pass these sayings to others on without thinking, especially if it threatens us.

In the e-mail world, this is done by clicking "forward." I've repeatedly received a Bible verse claiming that Jesus said something judgmental and threatening. Each time I've received it, I ask the sender if she (it's always a woman) really believes that Jesus would say something so unChristlike. Those who respond always say that they hadn't thought about it. That's the part I don't understand. It's the thinking faculty that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.

Some of the other oft-repeated sayings that fill me with wonder are those surrounding the spiritual Law of Attraction. These witticisms preach that you can have anything you want: Think it, believe it, visualize it, hold it as a dominant thought, and it will manifest out of thin air. That is the message of these sayings.

Some not only believe that this is true, they believe that repeating these witticisms actually gives others some hope that they can turn things around. Is it hope or a headache that they're giving them?

According to the Law of Attraction prophets (many of whom are focused solely on profits), you can have anything you want—even if it’s not yours. You can have anything you want—even if it is not for your Highest Good to have it. You can have anything you want—even though your soul desires something totally different. You can have what you want—even if there's only one of it, and more than one person wants it. Then that leads to the "blessed and highly favored" sayings that imply that Our Father plays favorites.

Witty sayings prove something if they are true 100% of the time for 100% of the people. If it happens for some, but not for everyone, it’s a possibility, not a truth. And they should be regarded as possibilities and nothing more.

How about this saying from the Loud Mouth: "What's yours, you will get—at the right time and in the most perfect way—and no one can keep you from it." While I have no proof that this happens 100% of the time for 100% of the people, there is some empirical evidence that reveals that it's more probable than "you can have anything you want."

Anyone who’s ever had a disappointment had to have anticipated a specific outcome: They visualized it, made it their dominant thought, and they believed that it was going to happen. But it didn’t—or it happened for someone else.

Two weeks ago, hardly anyone knew who Kesha Ni’Cole Nichols was. In her world, in her mind, and according to her plans, she was going to be honeymooning with NBA star Richard Jefferson right now.

This young woman had planned a $2 million wedding day. (The thought of a woman spending that kind of money for a ceremony and celebration that were going to last a few hours might have made any young man choke: Would he have enough money to sustain her for the rest of the year?) But I digress:

How many times do you think Ms. Nichols visualized herself proudly walking down the aisle with a church full of high-profile folks looking adoringly at her ridiculously expensive wedding gown? In this scene, the love of her life was always waiting at the end of aisle, eagerly waiting to say, “I take this woman.” Not once did it cross her mind that Jefferson would dump her the night before. In order to spend that kind of money, you could not have spent time thinking about anything but that wedding day. It was certifiably her dominant thought. And look what happened.

Ms. Nichols is not an exception. These things happen all the time. Heck, they’ve happened to you. It would be crass and untrue to say, "If you want to make God laugh, just make plans." But you have to admit that it's witty--and o are clever motivational sayings and formulas touting dominant thoughts, visualizations and other predictors of success, prosperity, and wellness that cannot be proved.

In fact, experience has proved otherwise. With the misperception that we are merely mortal creatures, and that acquiring stuff while we're in these bodies will make us happy, these witty sayings steer us in the direction of material joy.

In actuality, peace of mind is what truly brings joy. Few things disturb our peace of mind more than getting, having stuff and keeping stuff. What we need are some sayings that give us peace of mind when we can't pay our bills or when we face health challenges--sayings that have nothing to do with changing the circumstances, but understanding why we created them in the first place. Hmmm, how about: "Trust that whatever you are experiencing is designed by your soul for its Highest Good. Allow it to fulfill its purpose."

I admit, it might not be very inspirational, but if I know that I am eternal and that the problem I'm facing is not, I am more likely to relax and trust that the soul and the God Spirit within me know what they're doing.

Maybe it's the Virgo in me, but I like to understand and analyze my experiences. Based on my belief that things don't happen to me, they happen for me, I always ask the God Within: "Why did I create this situation, and how does it serve me?" Invariably--usually within 24 hours because I've practiced this so long--it is revealed why I am having that experience, and how it is benefitting me. As a consequence, I am rarely disturbed when things happen. I accept that it is happening for my growth and Highest Good. That doesn't mean that I am delighted that I'm having the discomfort. For added measure, I frequently say something like, "I am open to experience something more pleasant, at the earliest and most perfect time."

Challenges build muscle, teach lessons and stimulate growth. The last person you want to be around if things go wrong is someone who has not faced a challenge or a disappointment before. Problems are good. Disappointments are good. Not getting everything you want is good. Learning from every experience--and seizing the growth or practice opportunities they present--is even better.

What advice have you been given, based on a motivational saying, that was fact but not truth? How did you respond? Share so that we can all grow?

Can you make it through the "tough parts?"

It happened Thursday. I was taking my daughter to the airport after a blissful weeklong Independence Day vacation from everything. I even played hooky from the home-church:

“Uh oh, here comes the tough part.”

I looked at Maiysha and instantly felt a little knot in my stomach. I had forgotten how much she dreaded goodbyes. As I pulled up to curb outside the American Airlines terminal at O’Hare, my mind instantly flashed back to the TV Guide documentary about her journey to the Grammy Awards as a neophyte nominee.

That video gave me the first glimpse into what happens every time my little girl and I leave each other and head to another city: I watched her close her hotel room door as I left to go to the L.A. airport. Then she sobbed. She revealed to the producer that it has happened ever since she was four.
Separation is a heartbreaking ritual familiar to all children of divorce, particularly if their parents live in different cities. While excited to see one beloved parent, they dread leaving the other.

At this point, this heartbreak seems to have lodged itself in Maiysha’s memory because, even though she’s grown, and we’ve lived in different cities since her freshman year in high school, she still cries the moment I leave her sight. Now that the TV Guide cameras have shown me what that looks like, I cry, too.

Letting go. It’s one of the toughest things we do, and it can be painful if we don’t understand that there is always a time for departure. We cannot go to the next level without leaving the last. We forget that we’re on a path, and only a fraction of a millimeter of that path is here on planet Earth. Some of us exhaust a lot of energy, much of it negative, trying to control that blink of an eyelash moment in Universal Time.

Perhaps you’re displeased with your current circumstances. What led you to this moment and these circumstances? Sure, you can trace your physical path to this spot—your decisions, educational preparation and the skill sets, the places you went and organizations you joined, the previous jobs you held, the network of people who influenced your personal or professional lives—but that doesn’t always answer the “How’d I get here from there” question, does it?

You did all the right things for all the right reasons. You gave your relationship or your job all you had to give, and more; but it didn’t last. In the immortal tearful words of Nancy Kerrigan: “Why? Why? Why?”

I get this question from many who seek my counsel. For each, the response is specific to their situation, but the core of it my answer is always this: If you were supposed to have a different experience, you would be. What you’re experiencing now is the result of all of the choices you’ve made throughout your eternal life, times that you cannot even remember.

That’s the “tough part,” the “letting go” part: releasing old ideas of how things are “supposed to be,” based on the choices we’ve made in these bodies. As far back as we can remember, we’ve treated people well, worked hard, and followed the Golden Rule. Well, mostly. Still, the few times that we veered from the straight and narrow don’t explain why our lives look like this. Or maybe it’s the other way around: I know, as I sit here perched high, high above the crossroads of the Chicago River and Lake Michigan, with a horizon so rich with possibilities that I can barely sit still, I wonder: What in the Universe did I do to deserve this fabulous life?

That would be a clue: There’s something happening that we cannot see and cannot remember. The tough part is accepting that whatever we’re going through right now is either the unfolding of our souls’ plan or our bodies’ decisions to throw a monkey wrench in that plan; everything we do right now impacts us at some point on our journey. If you don’t believe, just do something that you don’t want done to you. Go ‘head. We’re watching.

We forget that Life is invisible and infinite; bodies are not. To help us remember, we’re granted ample opportunities to learn to get out of our soul’s way, go with the flow, and accomplish the goals that the soul intended when it showed up on this drama-filled planet wearing a body costume or, as it’s called in Genesis 2:7, a “tunic of skin.”

That’s another tough part: We think we’re only visible and we focus all of our attention on the visible. This is your soul’s life. Your body and all the physical trappings that you’re fixated on are merely trappings, and you can get sucked into a gooey vortex by allowing those trappings—the job titles, the car, the house, the endless quest for financial prosperity—that distract you from why you’re really here. Prosper that.

At the end of the day, all of us will leave behind all the stuff we fought so hard to own and far too many of us will be just another carcass that got tricked by the devious ego, who stuck his leg out and made us trip over the props. While they put our worthless physical remains in a box and plant it, we’ll schlep our vacuous souls over to a corner and mourn the growth opportunities that we blew.

Everyone is here for a unique reason. What’s yours? Are you fulfilling your mission? How close are you? This is urgent, so let me “go Loud Mouth” for a minute: Are you walking around with a big ball on your head, deluded into thinking that only what you can see, touch, smell, hear and taste is all that exists, and everything you ever wanted resides inside that ball? You can let your ego keep “punking” you—or you can become more intimate with Life’s unlimited reality.

I was counseling a distraught young woman the other day. She graduated with a high GPA from a very good university a year ago, and despite her strong work ethic and high acumen, she has been unable to find a job. Many of her friends are similarly situated, but just as many friends are enjoying what she perceives to be successful careers in the corporate world.

Unhappy that she was not enjoying the same success, she told me that she has repeatedly prayed to God, “What am I doing wrong? What am I not doing? Please give me some direction.” After asking, what did she do? She actively looked for ways to follow the same direction as her “successful” friends. She was so busy that she probably wasn’t even able to hear the direction she was being given from the spark of God within her. She expected the direction to take her where she thought she should be going.

Like most of us, she wanted God to do her will. We’ve been taught to do this. It’s what we think prayer is: “Ask and it shall be given.”
What if it’s not yours? What if it’s not the right path for you? What if your body’s desires aren’t in alignment with your soul’s? What if you tried to release your human understanding of the situation? You might see things differently.

My young friend, for example, had been mightily blessed; but she appeared to be unaware. After graduation, a relative reached out to her and, acknowledging how hard she had worked to complete her education, made her an offer that her friends probably would envy: She was invited into the relative’s comfortable home and told not to worry about paying a thing. Yep, I’m talking free room and board. Blessing, or no?

This young woman could hardly wait to move out on her own. She was desperate to be like her friends who have income, independence, and are now accumulating rent receipts, credit card debt, car notes and all of the bills associated with owning a late model car, suitable business attire, furniture and appliances.

I asked her several questions: First, why are you here on this planet, in this country, in that place at this time? Like most of us, she wasn’t sure. Exploring some possibilities provided tremendous insight for her. You might find this exercise helpful, as well. Try to look at your situation from a different perspective, higher than the ego-level.

I wondered if this talented, ambitious young woman had considered the possibility that living in her relative’s home might actually have been a blessing for her relative. She paused, a bit confused. I tried to clarify: I asked her to tell me what it feels like when she presents someone a gift—an unexpected, generous, selfless gift. She could feel it instantly—and it felt GREAT. I asked her to imagine that she had blessed her relative with this incomparable feeling. Her spirit began to brighten at the empowering thought that she might actually be delivering the gift in this situation.

Then I asked her to look deeper, look at the scenario spiritually, beyond the physical appearance and consider the possibility that the eternal soul who currently is wearing the body of her relative is one that her soul has known for a long time. I didn’t ask her to accept it as a fact; I just wanted her to write a script with this scene.

Next question: What if, at some point in your eternal life, you did something selfless for this soul or another and the Universe was returning your generosity? What if you refused to allow this soul to repay its debt?

She then began to stop resisting her situation, but actually embrace it.

Like most of us, this young woman had focused her attention on the drama on her life’s physical stage, where the ego-self is only capable of rearranging the props on the stage or trying to direct the actors to do what it wants. Those who are heavily controlled by their egos even try to manipulate situations and people in a forceful rather than powerful way.

When something goes awry and things aren’t going as our egos desire, those who believe there’s a God cry out for help. They look up rather than within because they’ve been told that God is a being that looks like a man, which is a limiting portrayal of Spirit or Love. They say that “He” is far away in the heavens, and will come down here and intervene, or will favor us over “His” other kids. They confuse us and confound our search for a close relationship with God and complicate our search for divine answers to our most troubling questions.

We pray and pray and pray for God to do our will, and we feel rejected, abandoned or even angry when “He” doesn’t comply. At that point, we’re ripe for the pickin’. Our egos convince us that we have to take control. WE have to make it happen, since we can’t count on God.

We don’t give a thought to the possibility that things are the way they are because it is for the Highest Good of our souls to have this experience. Through it, there is a wonderful growth lesson for the only Life that really exists: the eternal life of the soul.

Maybe, if we made uncharitable choices during a period that we can’t remember, this is an opportunity to settle that debt. If given the option of paying off a debt or carrying the burden throughout all eternity, which would you choose if you know that physical life is not real life?

We don’t know what our soul’s plan is, and we haven’t done the spiritual homework to figure out how to neutralize those debts painlessly. If you’re interested, I provide those tips very simply in “Crossing an Unseen Bridge: The Law of Attraction Secrets No One Wants to Talk About.”

Taking full responsibility for our life’s circumstances is tough. Letting go of our limited vision of a God who is off in the heavens, instead of within us, is even tougher. We have to leave behind that ancient caricature borrowed from Greek mythology, if we’re going to get to the next level in our spiritual development. At that level, we revere each individual as a spark of the living God and we treat each individual with the divine respect that we would accord God if “He” was wearing a tunic of skin. As a consequence, what returns to us in this “reap what you sow” world is always divine.

Our every thought, belief and action has a corresponding consequence, and the only thing that you really can control are the consequences of your thoughts, beliefs and actions. Be still, seek peace, and you will hear the directions rising from the Divine within you.That’s what happened to my young friend:

Because she had left her iPod at a friend’s earlier in the week, she found herself jogging in silence, the realm of the Divine. As a consequence, she was better able to hear the Divine speak to her.

She wasn’t sure why, but as she ran that day, Spirit moved her to call me. After we gained some clarity on her situation, it occurred to me that I knew someone who needs an energetic, hardworking entry-level public relations person with events management experience. The position would require frequent travel, which she loves.

Because she and I had not spoken in a while and she lives out of town, she had not crossed my mind. Apparently, she was supposed to. I hold a lot of influence in determining who gets that position.

This was just one of many reminders that there are no accidents; there is a Divine Plan. It was written before our souls entered these bodies; in fact, our souls co-authored it.

If we could pull our contributing chapters from a shelf and find the pages that explained how our current circumstances serve our souls’ growth, if we could remember that we are not finite bodies and that this is just a momentary experience in this tunic of skin, we could relax and go with the flow. We wouldn’t be upset when things change, no matter how abrupt or seemingly unfair the change is.

If we could trust God enough to know that everything serves our Highest Good, we wouldn’t be angry when un-Christlike Christians or other ego-driven souls try to harm us. We called them onto our stages to push us onto another one because it was time to go. Our ego-selves don’t like change that they don't orchestrate; we needed these souls' help. As mean-spirited as they seem, they are fulfilling our missions in meaningful ways. If we could remember that, we would know peace beyond all understanding. We would be joyful when things change.

Nobody on this planet has achieved Enlightenment. If they had, they wouldn’t be here. No matter what our level of spiritual understanding, new, sometimes greater challenges await us down the path. Stretching can be uncomfortable. But if we trust the divinity of the God within us, we will never again perceive them as “tough parts.”